On Parenting
I have been parenting a human being for about five years. I found some concepts, ideas, and values helpful while doing it. If you disagree, hate me, or want my parenting rights revoked, don’t fret — I doubt I’m doing it correctly myself.
Pick your battles.
They learn what they see, not what they hear.
They ignore the "no" in every phrase you say.
They are always looking for your attention. If you are not there, someone (or something) will be.
Take care of yourself first. Doing it isn't selfish: your self-care helps the kids.
If you are stressed out, they will be too.
Spend time with them. Lots of time. We become what we surround ourselves with.
Hear what they have to say.
Praise them as much as you can. Life will take care of hammering the wall — you don't need to do it.
If you expect nothing, you get a lot.
Sleep with them as much as you can. They can feel your presence.
Do your best to explain things in as much detail as possible.
They will have meltdowns. We all do.
They will learn that love is entwined with pain if you hit them. This knowledge will follow them for their entire lives and is very hard to break. Same for psychological abuse.
They don't think logically. They can't, for a long time. Accept it.
There will be questions. Thousands. Make use of them to revisit your values and personal dogmas. It's like free therapy.
Be honest with them as much as you can. Assume they know when you are lying.
They are going to do things in the wrong way a million times. Same for you. Be gentle with both of you.